Tim Tam Slam

A little while ago my mentor at work found a new job and left us. She’s from PEI, Canada’s weirdest, smallest province, where they get way too much snow, grow way too many potatoes, and you can drive across it way too quickly (because it’s so small). And she’s famous for something that I only knew around the offices as “the Tim Tam Slam.” And on her last day we all gathered around in the kitchen and she showed us exactly what that phrase means. And now I’m going to show you. This is so not a summer beverage (I don’t even know if it’s a PEI thing), but it doesn’t matter. You need to know this if you don’t already, and you’re going to thank me for putting it on the internet for everyone to see. If you DO know this, you’re going to thank me for putting it on the internet for everyone to see.

First, you need to grab yourself some Tim Tams, which are Australian chocolate cookies. So if you’re not in Australia you can get them in the imported cookie section of your regular giant grocery store, or in one of those fancy shops that sells imported food. Then you’re going to want to chuck them in your freezer for a while. This isn’t necessary but it makes the whole experiment work better.

Then you make yourself some of your favourite hot chocolate. This stuff has marshmallows in it.

Don’t be a heathen. Mix it with cream (or non-dairy whatever) first to form a paste so you don’t get lumps.

Is your hot chocolate ready to drink? Okay. Grab the Tim Tams out of the freezer.

Take a cookie and bite off just a tiny bit of one corner. Just a wee bit so that the middle filling is just exposed.

Then take another wee bit off the opposite corner. I always take too much off one corner, but it’s not a huge deal. Just don’t go crazy and bite off a huge piece. It’s hard to resist, but you can do it.

Then take your cookie, and pretend it’s a straw. Yup, a straw. Dip the cookie so that one of your bitten corners is submerged in the hot chocolate. Then put your mouth over the other bitten end and suck it like a straw. It will take a few pulls for the hot chocolate to make it through.

Now you only have a few sips of chocolate through the cookie before the heat of the hot chocolate melts the whole bottom of the Tim Tam.

When this happens, shove as much of the cookie in your mouth as possible. It is amazing and dissolve-y and definitely worth repeating. That is the Tim Tam Slam. Aren’t you glad you know?